2011年1月29日星期六
Home _ life and beliefs
Saba salt would like to praise to our Lord Jesus Christ, God the father, he is in Christ, who gave us every spiritual blessing in the sky. (Ephesus, 1:3) , and spent my childhood at noon on March 29, 1982, I was born. My mother said I preterm delivery for more than a month. As a child, often lying, stealing, and naughty, stealing cigarettes smoked hide one ' s identity in the electronic games room, old dough is school. To please the parents each week, and they are often mother. Next door neighbor heard my mother after playing several times after I hid in the toilet in the sob (at that time the toilet is one floor of ten families share), knew I was not easy. my memory doesn't work, I like a general-childhood spent, mostly I trick lying and stealing some scenes of the discipline, but a memory of my life. Spring morning of that year, call on relatives, people at home to play mahjong, a group of children playing near the Yangtze River running. First a few days just rain, Director of the Bank was mud. Before you go to a quagmire, we hesitate to walk, a little sister conscientiously told us: "on TV those qinggong is holding their breath, and then went over. " I believe, take the lead in holding your breath, gently go on foot, it was unable to lift, the second leg went in for help, also stuck down. Legs drawn out hard, is sinking faster, as pulling as possible depression, the more stuck pulling, mud swept over the knees and waist. Next to tense up kids, the little sister found than noodles thick branch gave it to me, is broken. Cousin stretched me too, but I am dragged into the mud, the other three or four children came to help out, are being pulled in. we themselves hoarse cry out for help, crying. At the Spring Festival, Yin whizz whizz winter morning, no one around the edges of the Yangtze River, Reed the boundless, the wind swaying. When silt diffuse into the chest, I dare not act rashly, flicker and looked around. far from the reeds, a fishing vessel struck out and landed two fishermen disembarked, throw down a few blocks of wood, we pull out, pants and shoes are stuck in the quagmire of, well, she did not, in a muck. Finally Panic ran home, a group of large Clay figurine on Mahjong table flounder. after playing for a long time, this breathtaking moment, an adult once lamented that I "survived, there is the good days to come." That was my first time experiencing fast death of thrilling, was first started thinking about death. Big people say after death will be blessed, and what exactly is it? even though grown-ups said it was smooth sailing, prosperous, but always felt in my subconscious, than this, right? after many years, now and then this problem on a floating head, especially in distress and isn't in the days, asking "what the blessed" puzzles, more wild talk of suspected it was just a word of comfort. second, the ideal of art like painting since childhood, it is almost the only thing I can get the praise of others. I pressing down, starting from high school on the road to learning art until 2000, when the University entrance exam, alone fill the Yunnan art college, determined to leave the parents away from home, go to an unfamiliar city. ����˵������Ӳ�ˣ�Ҫ���ˡ� Finally, across the train window, I caught sight of her mother stand on the platform to tears, but I was secretly excited. Trains will be diverted in Chongqing, a can of beer to drink up. Although at that time that beer is very difficult to have something to drink. family economy is not abundant, school loans, part live home supports, but also to work on its own, draw some line art sold cheap. Learn to bargain with landlords, contractor, and small business owners, delays and to, learned to mix some of the tone and attitude in society. Month to pay your rent when boredom, own mix, just discovered that making money is so difficult. Painting is just a cheap labor force, and as a child, regardless of the tastes and ideals. Sometimes locked up in smoke in the room alone, the whole package, and sleeping sickness. ��һ���ڼ�����ĵط���ڡ� Year's Eve evening hanging out alone on the railway, chewing came here the remaining dry and boring bread and twist, refused to back to the shelter; back seeing next door neighbors chickens to eat fish, influenced too much stimulus, home to more than 20 years of the wonderful end dinner, turned out to be a luxury. �����������������Ķ����� Depicting the natural beauty and rich, as well as in the creation of a pleasant, to release all the pain in my heart. For a long time, art is good medicine to cure my. the more painful, the more ideas, just wanted to express, is painting, is the second letter. Often write a long letter in the room, and friends to discuss art and philosophy of life. Later move, find heaps of letters was as high as a half personal. Remember and cousin of a communication, she said that tomorrow will be better and better, and I agree, I think that tomorrow is not known, or even tomorrow may be to destroy, I say this is Nietzsche said. She said that Nietzsche's theory is very harmful, was where Nazi supported by theory, told me it was just textbook said. Then I started a lot after reading modern books, philosophy and novel, the more people against more I want to read, the more obscure the more you want to read, just as sour beer is drunk on the train. I started studentsDissemination of and adherence to fundamental values in postmodern theory, which is an expression of an advertised pioneer and Maverick. I think that experience is important in life, there is nothing noble morality, there is no ultimate meaning, no authority, all values have to be reassessed. The word I like Subversion and put around Subversion. Once stuck to some of college teachers on the school bulletin board exhibition of posters, the topic is probably the "perfect sky" and so on. I am extremely tired of this put on airs of beautiful tone, then with a few classmates, design has been copied, the title to "perfect septic tanks", covered in the original poster, and affixed next to the poster "posters for the event organized by the chick brothers in charge", teachers and students of this school of laughter. But this thing just after 911, the school very serious and very serious, photographing forensic interviews and surveys of the witch "chicken brother organization", and finally to no avail. The other hand, I do not they play as a Fenqing or Warcraft, I tend to sharp criticism. This is my understanding of the artist's responsibility, through novel art style, hypocritical epidermal layers split reality, until the truth of what the hand over to the world. I was introduced in 2003, the first works of art of the accidental death scene, I suddenly fell in public places, manufacture of suspended animation scene, in order to test the public reaction. Numb and cool prevails, there are those who stop to watch the talk, but no one came to ask me or help me cold cold society status as evidence of my complaints-this is not my work, but your work! I belong to spend in College, so for the vast majority of students and teachers have no feelings, their community trial hard, trying to separate planning avant-garde art exhibition, contact with the rock youth, poets, artists, a lot. Gathered in the cabin to drink, and talk about art often debated red, together with hormones giving on behalf of the perfected more ambitious. Something I hungrily around searching for forward-thinking pioneer: aesthetics of violence in movies, feature films and stupefy by Comrade, pioneer theater, death metal and psychedelic music, electronic noise; read Nietzsche, and Baudelaire, sweet degeneration for themselves in the Bohemian life is full of infinite longing, advocating adventurism lifestyle. In 2003, a group of young men go to Dali, Lijiang, big tiger leaping Gorge hike walk half a month, author, all the way to eat and drink, immortal fortune teller, in snow-dramatic waterfalls next thaw hits the body, cold tall and is the first time in the mountains to experience the world of mountains and broad and enduring sense of human small and short-lived. but it is a group of idealistic, in regards to attack hypocrisy as artists and poets, but I found this community lurk in the shadows of the story: it was plagiarism, modifying another's work and name, someone betrayed give body to a prostitute and her family, some people spend their righteous anger, without peace, celebrities and there are so many shameful thing sth We were lying, and sometimes support cover up each other, sometimes because someone who mastered the secrets of another person, fight, or be thoroughly discredited don't kneel. I realize the truth: everyone in your life, there is a drain, it's something we see no light can be found, would fail miserably in a very easy task, even if we are headed for an infinite sea of light. No matter how many people are envious of our Bohemian free life, our hearts are not free. We count on an appalling performance to get media coverage headlines, we hope that in the famous art critic will we write the history, we hope that the work was bought by predators can make us rich, we count on art allows us to be saved from sin and suffering. We believe that people need faith, and we do not need. We believe that the things and people outside the art are our obstacles, one of the biggest obstacles to family, nobody dared face family, because we spent a lot of years to get up the courage to flee from there because we spent so many years before they learn to banish themselves. but I live in a fear, not just the fear of discovery of others after the trial, there are concerns about future unknown, you cannot know whether a fortune one day must knock, Maverick, and proud of the way, I can only to face sharp criticism and others to cover up my inner emptiness and panic, thinking in art and writing in the fight for recovery of the heart and soul. victory and defeat of the three, will, in early 2004 I started the "only a witness, there is no record," art project, released the following statement to the public: 1, I officially organised since January 10, 2004-2008 Beijing Olympic Games today, may not be using any means to any location (non-motor vehicles, motor vehicles, elevators, escalators, cable cranes, aircraft, etc) can only be taken on foot. 2, I am such works shall be recorded in any media (pictures, video, audio as well as the public text description, and so on). people are puzzled, like in Kafka's novels of starving artists. Some people think I'm more like dedication in the film Forrest Gump, thought I get inspiration from. Some people believe that I would like to take the Olympic Games is known. Based on the work of the 2nd reason, go their own way, and let the people go. Title of work, I would like to just "witness", they are friends and passers-by. �����֮�����ȫ��Ӧ�ˡ� Go to work every day from the West to the East of Kunming, may work in the middle of the edgeAlso want to go to another region, or climbing in the 25-story building. Most of the time I walked a man carrying a backpack in the city, from the early morning of day is off to sleep, and occasionally a friend accompany, accompany me the most was my girlfriend-today's wife. most long walks, is a friend of mine asked me to go to yangzonghai Lake Resort to play, he drove an hour is up, I didn't think, think walking half a day of effort. Second day is off alone did not bring any food or water on the road, on the road, it is impossible to turn back, starvation through the long dark tunnel, with lightning speed fast roadside garrulous step cautiously scoot, destination, about to go over more than 50 km/h. Take a bath immediately eat sleep, back in the early morning the next day. For two consecutive days on high-speed roads, is lame does not look like when you come back, stopped taking my motorcycles and cars, but I refused, came home and found the soles worn, socks and shoes were worn, glued together by blood and tied down. I issued a challenge to yourself is so large, with strong willpower alone, I've been adhered to. I think the described by Nietzsche's Superman is possible, I think people can do what they say all on its own, and this commitment is non-utilitarian, unethical, and non-fulfillment, more promises, the better it can test whether a person's heart in good faith, the body can conform to the heart. serve the art of living, submit themselves to the art, art devout believers and faithful slave. before you know it, also touched on the ultimate issue of thought and experience. I began to wonder, what I was walking late at night, and fulfill my promise. Because the majority of the time, me and no one came to the "testimony" of my work, many strangers do not know who I am. I had a ride on the idea, but it appears not to, is motivated by artistic considerations ride this piece, it is not perfect, though I don't know, but I know that my conscience won't. Second, I think mingming eyes looked at me in the sky, who he is, I don't know, the sky, yes God, is God sth Anyway, I have no opinion, I think he makes my life has always been not so sweet, I used was ' bad luck, so I'm going down, told him to see if I refuse to admit defeat. but there were two or three times, walking down the street late at night, do not hurry, quietly riding a motorcycle around the city, like the ghost of came back from the grave to dwell in this world, but also on the head and curiosity and exploration of the deep sky. longer walks at night, the greater the obsession night Ghost, forgetting the existence of dawn. A night on the railway, a friend of mine asked me, will one day you walk away, and is headed for a mountain, went into the monasteries monks. I thought for a while, said when possible, make a clean break and finish this work of art in a more extreme, why in the city of anxious languish on the sidewalk. But this is unlikely, because I am not interested in Buddhism and negative world view, I do not want things to no avail. Fortunately, the idea is just a sunset clouds disappeared in the imagination. one day in late 2004, Guangzhou, my girlfriend and suddenly received a Christian couple friend $ 500 money sinks, they said that prayer has moved that we need money. We simply do not understand what they're saying that need, holding the sky money to award themselves a gourmet meal. one week after one night, I suddenly ran a high fever, stupefy walking home to lie down, to the hospital in the morning the next day, was pneumonia. Urgent medical conditions, hospitals require hospitalization, and no longer have any moving, away from home for more than an hour to get to hospital, which means that I walk plan must end, or death, or art. I am wiser, convince myself to death soon, I immediately think of my work on left after one year "saturated", is also redundant. People in weak realized that the original was just one. Hospital told me the whole medical cost approximately $ 5,000 to 6,000, which has just graduated from my girlfriend, and still in school is a huge cost. Girlfriend believed in the Lord many years ago in Guangzhou, Kunming churches know an aunt is a nurse, happens to be her classmate's mother, to hang with her ask her to do. Poppins lets the day infusion, and then go home and wait message. She moved after the prayer, told us that she can find medicines to pharmaceutical companies, and then come to our home infusion for me, she said she was afraid to go to someone's House for a shot, because these drugs are very dangerous, it's likely to crash, but she said that prayer is peace, have moved to our House. She came to our House so the next two weeks, give me a transfusion, cooking, and preach the Gospel. but my knowledge of Christianity is preconceived accepts Nietzsche's view of postmodern idea, I think God was dead, my life without any man or God calls the shots, I think even God, Buddha, tone, great little Sin they were there, I believe it or not one always pays, hypocrisy, simply do not believe are not lacking. I also think that Christians are people of good will, but often feel forced to instill religious information that does not care about other people, while others need to be alone to calm, they often whispers to nag constantly, they always feel sad or sick people need the help of others to stand up again. They believe that the relationship and affection, and I believe that only their own willpower. My aunt said, faith is a good thing, but that is your own business, you have to respect other people's choices. I preach the Gospel andDoes not appreciate it, several times I said to her: aunt, your shot is a good thing, I'm grateful to you, but the Gospel and let it go, you you, I believe. Let Auntie very embarrassing. Sick shot with me along with my other one of your classmates, his gentle, helpful, and listen to Auntie the Gospel every day to discuss faith, but to date, the student before conversion. half a month later, we'll recover, aunt invited eat out thank you. Coming home after accounts, meeting and dinner all together-the cost of just $ 500! I have air-conditioning. Began again wondering, I mingming in the think in head Shang "witness" I walk of that tablets deep of star in the, has a forces, he has can intervention I of life and plans-although is help of way! this pieces behavior art initially to "only witness, no records" named, is to became I themselves of witness, called themselves and world witness a a people of determined to, and courage, and willpower, and self-discipline capacity, and is committed to and secular world does not cooperation of position, is to Subversion art and life of boundaries, called art can became a people of spirit beliefs, let themselves became art beliefs in of Qing followers. But, halfway through the miracles and kill disease (I don't think it's just a coincidence that simple), as a stumbling block, that I had to face interventions from outside, and failed to call a behavior artist, became the beginning of new life. �ġ�������˲��wbr>������Ϊһ�����ӳ�����������Ҫ�����µļҡ� Just realized, it's support of the spine, as though are not indestructible. but interventions from outside so much as if the wire is groping in the dark blasting people, like cut night lightning shock, luminous thorn blind my eyes, that I was presumptuous of knowledge and belief, sudden pauses, failure. Not because there is no light, but the light was too harsh, I could see nothing. no wonder, Kafka wrote in a note: the right way on a rope, it's not tight in high places, but close to the ground. It turns out that the right way is not made available for walking, but people trip over them. Trip was the right way, with conflicting emotions, and trying to find out more about the end of the rope-God and his Kingdom. sitting in one of the five hundred or six hundred people in the Church, all stood up and worship choir, but I was crucified on the seat, was really nervous bitten to death up. I said to myself, I do not believe you, why should we worship you? if you exist, give it to me. I hate my girlfriend said in his mouth about the word of God, full of intimidation of the law, when it comes to God, is just a smoke. Never talk about God, the peaceful coexistence of sensitive words. She had prayed silently. in communications and a friend wrote: I am well aware that their antipathy towards God, not because God per se, but of the believers. I know you want to remove your own secular clothes to get broad and level to kneel in front of God, this is such a difficult thing! I'm working. But I believe that I was not far from God, praying for my girlfriend also hear the sound was so positive, yet not far from this distance may still take some time, I do not know how long, because that depends on me completely humble and faithful. You know, this is difficult. July 26, 2005 at the time of debate on whether God exists, I found the arguments can be quite sure of part of evidence, but at the same time both sides even worse part was completely according to prove God exists or does not exist. Between a room. This room is still to be both archaeological evidence, reserved for the human race? a more important issue is that in this room are reserved for rational, are reserved for faith? I prefer the latter. a teacher who just came back from France, excitedly at the hot-pot table described there are movies in a violent bloody and controversial film, that we must look for disc. The film is mal Gibson directed The Passion of the Christ. Huge facility to a person sitting in the dark the gory film finished. Would like to say that violent bloody movie than I have ever seen this far there, than this stimulation, is not alone. But after reading I was like being in a strange place, ideas that have the ability to interfere with my travel plan of God, whom I have been jiaozhen, has been seeking God Almighty. How may is he-is full innocent to is nail died in cross Shang of Jesus! and he claimed that he by by of all whipped and penalty, is to I! I does not awareness this people, he why to for I suffer?! on reminds that bits teacher of doubts, we this national holds keep "people make I, I does not prisoners, people if committed I, I will prisoners" of concept, and Jesus says "was playing you of right face, even left face also go came by he playing", this is what crooked reason? this needs how of wide up? but and secretly to understand, former is villains, which is God. Looking at the Nazarene of black and blue, looking at the people of Nazareth was crucified cruelly, a slaughter lambs by innocent, I found that I'm not challenging God, near to going to feel sorry for him! stone heart for how to be a heart of flesh? how will to want to be loved? see a man (no, it's God) innocent people died for me, why pay such a large price? I who is?